When hope fades away

This kind of love is the killing kind.
Sometimes I dreamed a lot, I got my hopes up.
I usually idealize, I believe in things I know I shouldn't.
Fall in love with those I wont have, the wrong ones, the impossibles.

I got a degree on being a fool in love.
I do always keep forgetting how stupid loves make us.
"Love make us act like fools, throw everything away for just one happy day."
But hell that day worth it.

Oh fuck there are too many things in my head, between the depression, the being alone and far away, the need of something different, and all together.

Yeap, I may say I'm not okay, you may call to try to talk, I may not answered, but when I needed to talk you weren't there,as I said, is not always easy to talk.

And don't trouble yourself, the day I'll decide to end it I wont try to ask any help, or let anybody to worry.

For now I will just try to make a living, I had it with love, people, and other stupidities.

"I'm a romantic fool as you"
someone said, the difference is that I was a fool to many times now.
I try to give everything, but sometimes you got to be selfish, just to take care of yourself, to try to close the wound, or at least to make it stop bleeding.
My battle scars are not on my skin, they are on my soul, on my heart, on all those dreams I dreamed.
I think that maybe when you got nothing to loose is when you are the most desperate, cause even you can put all in for someone, that "all" is the same as nothing.

Fuck I never kissed him and I feel as if I had lost half my heart.

Maybe that show me that I should go back to BsAs. I don0t know... I'm tired of waiting to see, I need to start doing... I need..