From Calafate

So long since the last time i updated.

So many changes, so many new things, and so many old ones je =P

Time has gone by like caged in a slow motion picture, and only a few days appear to be months.

Anxiety is incredibly slowing down, thoughts are different (not so different but different enough), is like everything here let you relax, is like living on a perpetual state of trance, where nothing bothers you, where no one will work harder, or different, where everything has is own timing, doesn’t matter how hard you need it or want it.

Life has changed my friends, and is not a little easy to undo thingy, is big, is weird, and its real.

Now I just have to adapt to the idea of living away, alone, in a solitaire land, where everything is nothing, where the only valuable asset is your own care for yourself. Now we are up to a new way of life, completely different from what we have done to this moment.

The obvious question would be, would I resist it?

I can change my future, my life, my way of living; it’s only a matter of wanting, of desire, of need.

Sadly the only things I’m sure I need, I won’t have. So it’s only a matter of time and experience to decide which way to take, where to run, where to hide, whom I can trust.

I’m sick of time, of holding on until I’m sure what to do, I need spontaneity, I need impulses, I need to take charge of my own life. Determination is something I don’t have a lack of. So why the heck can’t I do what I think is best?

Well sadly because what I think is the best is just something far off from what people could call sane.

But we already know that I’m crazy, that I’m far off from the society limits.

So after living in this awful world, after having this annoying existence, where we cannot decide anything and every breathe we take, every heartbeat is controlled by something or someone, after knowing that there’s no biggest enemy than ourselves, after realizing that the existence per se is not what’s valuable, if not but the way you existed.

All this things let us see what’s the reality. Is easy to know what’s the good way or at least the one we should take. But why take that road? Why walk by the sidewalk that everybody goes through? Why don’t be different? Maybe not different, maybe just ourselves, don’t let anyone decides for ourselves, taking our own chances, our own opportunities, creating our own path.

Maybe that’s why your worst enemy is yourself, because it doesn’t matter what you do, the only one that can stop you from doing it is you, no one else, no matter how much you love them, care for, or respect them, the only one that can decide TO DO or NOT TO DO is you.

Fuck!! If someone would told me this earlier maybe my life would had been much easier.

“Sobre héroes y tumbas” (About heroes and tombs) Ernesto Sabato.

You should read it.

I personally identify myself with Alejandra, obvious for anyone who knows me to know why I do.

Great book, not the kind of thing I read, but good.

Y lo único que me resta es transcribir una letra (y una carta)

Inocente colectivo – Charly Garcia

Nace una flor

todos los días sale el sol

debes en cuando escuchas aquella voz.

como befan gusto saber cantar en los saleros de la mente con las chicharras

pero a la vez existe un transformador que te consume lo mejor que tenes

te tira atrás te pide mas y mas; y llega un punto en que no queres

mama la libertad

siempre la llevaras

dentro del corazón

te pueden corromper, te puedes olvidar, pero ella siempre esta.

mama la libertad

siempre la llevaras

dentro del corazón

te pueden corromper, te puedes olvidar, pero ella siempre esta.

ayer soñé con los hambrientos los locos

los que se fueron los que están en prisión

hoy desperté cantando esta canción

que ya fue escrita hace tiempo atrás

y es necesario cantar de nuevo una vez mas.

Y no va a haber carta, eso es entre Él y yo.